Why is the sense of self discontent?

The main drive of every individual is to overcome the sense of not enough. Prior to this sense, there is only “This is ok, nothing needs to change”!

As mentioned in the previous post, for some individuals the experience of being here is mildly unsettling for others it is unbearable.

So why would this knowing that I am cause a negative reaction.

For the two year old, just prior to becoming aware of here I am, consciousness isn’t yet focus. Everything is just one “thing”. There is no distinguishing between the different senses. There is no I see, only seeing. No I hear, only hearing. No I smell, only smelling. All of this physical actions are just happening without a me doing them and likewise these activities don’t happen to a me. They just happen! In this state there isn’t the possibility to I like what I see or I don’t like what I see. There is just seeing. No me that would have a preference. Everything just is as it is! What a marvellous state! Everything is just naturally as it is. Everything!! No one there yet, total freedom for total experience. Could this feel like unconditional love? Just a wow-ness for everything? I think everybody having spend time with a newborn can resonate with what is been shared. The awareness in the child is of yet unfocused, free to be conscious of no particular object. Pure consciousness, without the subject, that filters everything through the me, no object, of which the me would have been told whether to like it or not?

So prior to the sense of I am here now, the me, there was wide open everythingness! Then gradually or suddenly there is this sense, where before there was nothing and everything. It is very much like a camera going from wide open zoom to focusing in onto something. First reaction must be awesome, there is an object and I see, feel, smell it! Wow, I see so naturally I am! I am, where am I? Oh, I’m looking, but how am I doing that?

After the first amazing experiences of being, there was for most of us no way to get back to the unfocused and absolute state of freedom.

There was an exchange. The state of being is a focused or rather contracted state of what was before. It is still the same but in a different “form”. So who or better what would possibly have this sense of unease or worse? Would the me feel that? It couldn’t because “it” is only the expression of the focused consciousness. Consciousness couldn’t be awareness because it’s not yet contracted.

As it might be the unease is how it all started for us, it’s the essence of the me and no matter what the me “does”, the me can’t overcome this state of unease. I would even go further, addressing the one of us, for who this unease is much more. I feel the this sense of being contracted is like grief. It is a subconscious knowing of the reality that the contracted state is secondary to the original and it is an expression of longing for what still is, right now, but can’t be perceived by me, because me is it, just in a different form.