The ME
At the moment when “here I am” is realized for the first time, consciousnesses contracts and identifies as a location called me.
This location is an energy in the body. It can’t actually be found in a specific area of the body. When looking happens, than the me is felt behind the eyes. When there is an emotion than the me is felt in the chest/heart area. When you go looking for yourself you can’t find yourself. All there is is a sense of being. This sense has no particular location in the body. Actually it might be found anywhere you are feeling into. Wherever the attention goes to, big toe to the top of the head, there is a vibration felt, that could be the me energy. But what about that, that is feeling/looking into where I am is? Where is that feeling into feeling from? Does this looking have a location in the body? Can a position be found from where one is conscious of what is happening in the body?
So the sense of me can’t be found in the body and that that is looking for the me doesn’t have a location.
And yet, undeniably everybody knows that s/he is!!
This knowing, that I am, is the foundation of the experience of being for every individual and likewise the greatest unsolvable mystery.
Most individual do never get into the circumstances to become curious about what they actually are or further more if they actually are!
But by inquiring, using the power of observation, it becomes gradually obvious that this me is an energy that somehow has to do with the body, it isn’t the body, thoughts or emotions, and it has a connection to this knowing.
By further investigation it even becomes clear that this knowing is prior to the me.
Does the me know the knowing? Does the me know that it knows? Or is it the knowing which knows the sense of self?
So by the activity of “itself”, this knowing, which in itself doesn’t have a self, becomes aware of this apparent self, which it is not, because it can’t be that which it knows.
So consciousness isn’t a thing, yet it is somehow active. By this action a sense arises which can’t by located, which then produces the sense of individuality.
The individual is an experience of location, I am here, that can’t be awareness, because it is an object of and in knowing.
So the individual doesn’t experience anything, but rather the knowing does. But it doesn’t because it isn’t anything. Knowing knows without knowing.
If all of this boggles your mind, perfect!! It can’t be understood. The mind is a byproduct of the activity of consciousness. It cannot know it source!
Check in feel what’s left over after you acknowledge and accept that sense of I can’t wrap my mind around this!!
If you feel humility, then this message resonates and maybe an openness happens.
This is as far as we can take it.
In this openness the me might dissolve back into its origins, the knowing.
“So by the activity of “itself”, this knowing, which in itself doesn’t have a self, becomes aware of this apparent self, which it is not, because it can’t be that which it knows“
“… it can’t be that which it know” -> why can’t it? Sure in the 3D material world this pattern holds true, but I’m unconvinced that consciousness isn’t arising out of a nervous system to a point where “self-awareness” arises… and this self-awareness can ONLY become aware of itself -> or rather it’s internal modeling of that which it perceive outside it.
And all the subsequent insights don’t need the assertion that “it can’t be that which it knows” -> universal oneness can be understood simply by seeing that all boundaries are drawn abstractly in concepts, you can’t take a tree out of the earth and expect it to be a tree any longer, it’s interdependent on its environment.
Further, if you place your attention (consciousness) on another human being, you experience (your model of) that other human being, and so it pretty quickly becomes evident that you can’t be fully happy until all beings are fully happy.